Seesters

Tawsha Ellen Stanford

Kind, loving, beautiful, wife, mother of two, daughter of God, follower of Christ, she gives freely of herself and her time, she is a wonderful decorator and keeps her home clean, she loves children (even other people's. I know AMAZING!) She doesn't judge others, she easily forgives, she listens with an open heart, she makes you laugh, she loves to dance, she doesn't boast, she is honest, she is very outgoing, she loves to go and do fun things, she is amazing and I am so glad that she is my friend! Love you Taco!

Katelyn Riley

I remember being pregnant with this little girl and I was overjoyed. I remember being 20 years old and not being able to get pregnant with this girl and I thought my life was over(ha ha, hindsight is 20/20). I had a laparascopic surgery and was pregnant within a week. This little girl is so smart, and so very sassy. She is in preschool now and loving it, and I am loving my time with Preston. Anyone that has been around her knows that she can throw fits with the best of them, we are working on it, and she is getting better. This girl talks about Jesus all the time and how she misses him. She is sensitive to other's feelings and will cry when I cry. She loves her little brother and is learning how to get him to trade toys by offering him another one so she can have the one she wants. She will sing at the top of her lungs in any public place and I just laugh. I love her to pieces and am so grateful heavenly father sent her to our home.

This Guy

This guy loves me unconditionally. This guy is so handsome and when he kisses me, I still get chills. This guy works so hard to provide for his family. This guy likes to go on dates with me and opens the door for me when we go out. This guy has never called me a mean name and he fights fair. This guy loves his kids so much. This guy comes home from work and will get down on his hands and knees and bark like a dog to amuse his children. This guy has the strongest testimony of the Gospel. This guy loves his his parents and siblings and enjoys spending time with them. This guy is super smart, graduated with honors with a double major and then went on to do something totally unrelated to his degree, computers!! This guy loves to cheer on the BSU Broncos, in football and basketball. This guy will pause his shows at night time and take time to listen to me talk about the most random stuff, it's like a sleepover with your best friend every night! This guy is the guy of my dreams and I love him more today than yesterday and cannot wait for what the future holds. I love this guy!

Disney World

This is what I thought our vacation would be like....This is what it actually was like... But seriously...Stephen had a business meeting in Orlando and we were lucky enough to be able to join him and his family. We had a great time. You'd think it would be really easy to keep a 4 year old and a 2 year old happy in the "Happiest place on earth" but then you remember their ages. They are tired, hot, hungry, and don't want to stand in line for 40 minutes. We pumped them full of ice cream bars and cotton candy and it all worked ot.

Cheating

Yesterday's Dr. Phil was about dreams and why we have them. It got me to thinking about my reoccurring dream and why I am having it. Since we have been married I have been having these dreams that Stephen cheats on me. I have them about once every 2 weeks. The first one when I found out I tried to call his dad and tell on him and I was absolutely devastated. I have tried to consciously make progress in my dreams (while I am unconscious) to solve the dream so I can quit having them. Well I still have them but now when he tells me he's cheated and he's leaving me, I am prepared. I know exactly what I am going to do. I know that I'll go to school at nights and see if he'll pay me instead of day care to watch the kids during the day. I know how our things are going to be divided and everything else. It's really quite sad. Sometimes I wake up and I am a little jealous and hurt. But I have gotten to the point where I don't get angry at Stephen anymore, and I am so thankful that it was just a dream. I think I am watching way too many talk shows that are implanting my mind with the thoughts that this could happen to me. I watched Oprah the other day and got some good ideas on cheaters. Ha. Because of that show I totally thought Stephen was cheating on me...Stephen has been working nights and the other night I woke up and went to look in the garage and his car wasn't there. There was some laundry on top of the dryer and I thought in my sleepy state that he came home, rummaged through the clothes to find a different outfit, and then left again to meet his lover. I was so distraught, my dreams had finally come true. I then realized that the clothes were the kids' sweaters from the car that I forgot to put away. When Stephen walked through the door, I burst into tears apologizing for feeling this way when he hadn't done ANYTHING to cause suspicion. So to Dr. Phil analyze myself...I think the underlying issue is that I feel unworthy. I had a pretty hard childhood growing up and yet I always knew that I would have a good marriage and adult life. I am so very thankful for all the blessings I have. I am just unsure as to why I have such a good life. Most of the time, like 95% of the time I don't worry about things and I just enjoy my life. But then about 5% of the time I am waiting for something bad to happen. It's weird but sometimes I think it would be a relief if he did cheat because it would show that I was right all along and I am not worthy of love. I am a big believer that you make your life turn out how it does and I do not want to cause bad things in my life to happen by having these bad thoughts. I know these issues stem from my dad leaving my mom and even though I was just a baby it absolutely does still affect me not growing up with a father in the home. Yet because of growing up without a father in the home I am so very thankful for Stephen and that my children will have a father. What a difference it makes! It's kind of funny too because I feel like Stephen showed me what unconditional love is and by him loving me that way I was able to finally find out just how awesome I am and in turn love myself. So I don't know why I am having these dreams but I am getting tired of having them. I think I will take a break from the talk shows for a while and kiss my husband more.

I'm losing it

Okay so my mother in law often talks about how she is worried about her 80 year old mother's memory because she sometimes repeats herself. Well I am 25 and I am losing it!!

-A couple of days ago while I was waiting for my English muffin to cook in the toaster I took out 2 different knifes in a matter of 2 minutes. Yikes!
-I often wash my face twice in the shower and don't realize until the 2nd time that I have already done it (and I take 5 minute showers).
-I forgot to buckle Katelyn up in her car seat a couple of days ago and she was the one to tell me. -Sometimes I tell people things that are private and when they ask me about them, my reply is, "Who told you that?" Um, I did! What the crap!
-And this one is my favorite. Sometimes someone will say something to me (usually Stephen) and then I try and tell him in a story about someone telling me something..that doesn't really make sense but it's him! Like he will tell me something and then I am like, "Oh my gosh someone told me this," and he's like, "Ya that was me." Embarrassing.
-And today I was trying to clean my stove with a certain cleaner and realized I was cleaning it with carpet deodorizer. LOSING IT!! Be afraid, be very afraid!

Katelyn and her Sister

Yes, I wrote that right and you read it right. And no, I am not pregnant. Katelyn has been obsessed now for about a year for having a baby sister. She talks about her constantly and trys to buy things at the store for her, like outfits and shoes. She recently said that her bathroom is hers and her sisters. Often I ask her, "What happens if it's a boy?" One time she replied that she would cry and another time she replied, "Well then just have another one and another one and another one..." Yikes. I told her yesterday that I want her to stay four forever and she replied that she needs to turn 5 to go to kindergarten so she can have a baby sister! Too funny, she is so stinking smart. That was the deal we made by the way. Anyways I was totally not even wanting another child for a very long time and I had a very special experience and now I know that shortly it will be time. I cried for a long time because I felt I wasn't prepared; physically, emotionally, we would have to trade in my beautiful luxury car for a mini van, and I feel like our house is too small. In a matter of weeks I went from feeling like NO WAY to now I am baby hungry. Crazy. I still feel like I am too young to have 3 kids but here are the positives. We own our own home. Stephen has his college completed and a steady job. I can stay home with our children and we can afford it. So age doesn't really matter at this point because we are prepared. Today we all went for a jog as a family. This was Katelyn's comment, "Oh man our family is tired aren't we?" I said yes and then she said, "Just like my baby sister is tired of waiting in heaven." Melts my heart. I love my kids so very much and am so excited to see what the future holds for our little family.