This is crazy because yesterday in the shower I was thinking how I wanted to write a real post. Not one about cute kids or something fantastic but something real. And then I got a challenge from my friend Kami to do just that. So here it goes. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of going to church when you have young children. I have 2 kids under the age of 3 and I am in the hall the most of the time. If I am able to sit in the class, you can guarantee I am not actually paying attention because I am feeding Preston snacks to keep him happy. I realized that I thoroughly enjoy the social aspect of church, but what good does that do me? And when my "friends" don't say hi, I get really sad. I know I need to make more of an effort to get some spirital time in for me.
I have been yearning for a best friend. I have lost some recently due to different reasons, and it makes me really sad. Along time ago I didn't really make an effort for friends but I realized that I should be reaching out because others probably feel the same way I do, well I am tired. I don't want to be the one who always initiates a friendship. I want a friend to laugh with, cry with, call when we need something and even when we don't. I want someone to hang out with frequently and be able to trust them with my secrets. I give a lot in a friendship and I expect a lot also.
Yesterday I was busy all day long and I was wishing I had some time to be alone. Well I got 10 minutes alone in the shower and realized I don't like to be alone.
So those are some bad thoughts, and now here are some blessings.
1. We recently got a new car for Stephen that I love and when I get to drive it I feel super hot because it's clean and there are no car seats.
2. Preston's 2 front teeth have come in and he is just funny lookin' but still cute. He is a very happy yet very intense baby. We love having him in our home.
3. Katelyn told me a couple of days ago that she had to go potty, I have been just taking her every 2 hours. Her accidents are rare.
4. I absolutely love being a stay at home mom, especially in the summer because there are so many fun activities to do and I think I have figured out how to handle 2 kids in public. Today we went swimming together and we had a great time.
5. My car needs new tires, which sucks but my life has been really good that I am always waiting for something bad to happen, so when this happened I thought, "Sweet, we can handle that, and now that's out of the way." It was sort of a relief in a weird way.
Clover's LOL Birthday Party
1 year ago
5 comments:
Kendra, I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I feel like the only time we do anything with others is when we initiate it. Recently, I read a novel about a bunch of widow's who got together to commiserate and one of the lady's talked about how when you give service to others, you find true happiness. I've heard that all my life. Maybe you could find an older person in your ward who may be lonely and needs a friend as much as you do. Whatever you decide, don't give up. Your children do grow up--I know, my youngest just got home from Karen's (Oregon) where he spent the past two weeks visiting cousins. I was so happy to see him yesterday. Anyway, take one day at a time--good things will come your way. And if you get really desperate, give me a call--I love to talk and I'm a good listener. Love you much.
I'm so glad you vented and I loved it! Now, my b.f.f when are we going to slide down ropes that are super high in the air?!!! I've got my $75 bucks and I'm ready to go! Also, what are you guys doing for the 4th? It's a good thing you miss out on church or else you'd get to hear me vent to old people and cry:) gotta love it
I don't know what you're talking about. We were there for three hours Sunday and it was delicious. :)
You know what I love about you - you are real. What you see is what you get. You're my favorite kind of person. Hey and we could be best friends over the phone... I am sad that we didn't become friends sooner before I moved. And about the church thing... sometimes the thing that keeps me going is knowing I have to be a good example to my children. And then when they're going through the same struggle I can say - I know that's tough, but worth it. Easier said then done... so one last thought... you must take pictures of your "sliding down the ropes" experience and then blog about it - I feel bad I am missing out. Have so much fun!
I know we're not real far away, but it would be nice to be closer. I remember a lesson once where we were told that when we had young children, we were going to church more for our children so they could see that it was important to us and important for them to be there. Eventually you'll get those opportunities to feel the spirit. For now, try to get them during scripture/Ensign reading etc. I'll keep you updated on field trips so that you can join us.
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