Funny to me stories

Okay so you'll have to excuse me. I am weaning myself from Tylenol PM. So instead of just crashing when Preston just woke me up, I laid in bed chuckling to myself about how semi-funny I am. So here's two stories that I think are pretty funny. Keep in mind it's 6 am, thanks.

Okay so some of you 8th warders might remember this one. About 2.5 years ago I went to an Enrichment activity at some one's house. It was outdoors and they had a trampoline. So already my mind was thinking of how I could be super cool and do a back flip in front of all these ladies, because then of course they would think I was super cool. So we played this guessing game and I said that I could do a back flip, they guessed it was me who said it but didn't ask me to do it. What? My plan failed miserably. Well before we all left some sweet sister mentioned that I never did my back flip. So I ran over there as fast at my legs could carry me. I didn't get enough air and ended up doing a back flip, then a backward summer salt, then hit my back on the bar and fell on the ground. Boy was I cool! I sucked in my tears all the way until my car and didn't try it again...until YESTERDAY! Let me rewind a bit now to when I was younger. We always wanted my mom to jump on the tramp with us and every time she would, she would pee her pants a bit and go into the house. Disgusting right? Well considering I am an old lady now, I did it too! And it wasn't disgusting, it was hilarious! I am supposed to be in my prime, and here I am once again thinking I am super cool doing a back flip, and I pee my pants! But to quote Billy Madison, "You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants." That makes me feel much better, thanks Billy!!

Story Number 2: This one isn't that funny but again, it's 6 am, so to me it is. I have been taking out the trash our whole marriage. Does it bother me? Not at all. I am actually a little freak about it. About every 2 days I go around and empty all the little trashes even if there is hardly anything in them. I have read books where women think that if their husband doesn't empty the trash they take it to mean he doesn't love them. Well that's just crazy. I don't empty it because I love Stephen (although I do, very much) I do it because it is full and it needs it. It's a common sense thing for me. So anywho, we missed trash day last week and have had even extra this week. I was seriously stressing about fitting it all into the trash can so we could clear it out. The garbage was full and I had bags on top of it too. Well Stephen went out there yesterday and came back in two minutes, I was expecting bad news, but he fit it all. Here is the funny part. He said that he thinks the wrong person has been doing the trash. I know that was supposed to be a dis, but I took it as a compliment. As President of this operation, I took it upon myself to fire the crappy worker, and hire the good one! Thanks honey for volunteering! You rock!